Shatter Dreams
by Escape Through Dreams
Summary: How is it even possible to feel like a third wheel in your own relationship? And matters of the heart are never easy, especially when a choice has to be made...
1. Shatter Me Chapter 1

_'_ _They are at it again.'_ Ainslee sighs, watching her boyfriend laugh and joke around with the beautiful, Russian redhead Natasha.

Ainslee has nothing against Natasha, really, she is an amazing woman. She just hates how in every group setting, Bucky abandons her for Natasha. Sure, they have a lot in common and there is a history between them. But Natasha is not his girlfriend, she is. If he is just going to spend all of his time with the other woman then why is Ainslee even around? It is obvious that he could care less either way.

She gives another sigh, rubbing her temple.

"Hey, are you okay?"

The thick accented voice of Wanda Maximoff comes from her right,

"Hi Wanda. I am fine, just feeling a headache coming on. I think I am going to head home. Will you let Bucky know?" she steals a glance at her boyfriend, "That is if he even notices or cares that I am gone."

"Sure, feel better Ainslee." Wanda answers, giving the older woman a hug.

As Ainslee leaves, Wanda can feel the hurt and sadness rolling off of her in waves. She moves her stare over to Bucky and Natasha, shaking her head. Wanda feels bad for Ainslee, she does not deserve this type of treatment. It is just a matter of time before emotions boil over and Ainslee cannot take anymore; and there is no way for this to end on a good note. Someone is going to get their heart broken.

When Ainslee arrives home, she changes into more comfortable clothing and curls up in her couch. She turns on the television finding some random show to distract her and to keep her thoughts from moving back to Bucky. She knows that if she gives herself the time to think about him then she would end up in an emotionally dark place, and she just is not going to do that to herself. So instead, she forces her mind to shut off and drowning out all thoughts with pointless television.

She is unsure of how much time passes, but she is brought out of her trance by a knocking on her door.

"Who is it?" She calls out.

"It's me. Open up."

Bucky's deep voice comes from the other side of the door. Ainslee opens the door, stepping to the side to let him in.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, going back to her seat on the couch.

"Wanda said you weren't feeling well…"

She looks at the clock on the wall, "And so you rushed over to check on me two, almost three, hours after I left. Wow, you really do care don't you?"

He eyes her with a perplexed look on his face, "What is wrong with you? Where is that coming from?"

She just shrugs, not bothering to look at him. Ainslee continues to watch television, practically ignoring Bucky's presence.

Bucky turns off the t.v, "Hey, look at me. Lee, what is going on with you? You have not been acting yourself all night."

"And how the hell would you know?!" she snaps, jumping off the couch to face him. "How the hell would you know I have not been myself when you were so far up Natasha's ass I couldn't tell where one ends and the other begins!"

Bucky quickly follows, "What are you talking about?"

Ainslee does not know if he really is that clueless or just in denial.

"You cannot be serious Bucky. You spent the whole time that I was there with Natasha. Every time there is some kind of gathering and you invite me, I am left alone and you are off with Natasha."

"So I have to spend all of my time with you?! I cannot talk to my friends anymore?! You are just jealous."

"That is not what I am saying Bucky! I like Nat, I am not jealous of her. My point is that every time there is some type of get together with the other Avengers and you invite me, you leave me to go be with Natasha. It has not just happened once, but every damn time! And it is not like you leave to go off with Steve or Sam or Clint, it is always Natasha, just her. If you want to spend all of your time with Natasha why even have me around? Better yet, if you would rather be with Natasha, why are you even dating me?"

Her voice trails off, it hurt to say that out loud. Worry fills her at what his response might be.

"Oh don't be ridiculous! There is nothing between Nat and I. It is all in the past. You are overthinking everything. We are just friends, and it is easier to talk to her than you because she understands more than you do. You are not an an Avenger, you cannot even fight so how could you possibly understand what we talk about or how could you even help me out after a tough mission like Natasha can?" Bucky barks out.

Ouch. That, that really hurt; Ainslee can feel the tears sting her eyes. Bucky does not seem to realize that what he said cut her to the core.

"Is that how you really feel Bucky?" she asks, "That I am basically useless and offer nothing to help you? I thought that because I wasn't a part of that world, being with me was an escape. To have someone not tainted by violence and death. At least that is what you told me. I guess that was not true."

"Ainslee, that is not what I meant."

"So what did you mean?"

He lets out a loud groan, running his hands through his hair in aggravation.

"You are twisting my words. Sometimes it is just nice to talk to someone with similar experiences that I do. Someone with a similar past as I. Natasha and I are just friends. That is it, nothing more, so stop trying to make it seem like there is something else going on!"

She stands there watching him, listening to his words, hearing how his voice changes when he talks about Natasha. She can hear how defensive he is becoming. But more than that she hears how he almost sounds disappointed in saying they are just friends. Ainslee shakes her head,

"Who are you really trying to convince James? Me or yourself that there is nothing going on between you two?"

"Ainslee, please."

"If there was ever a situation where you had to save either Natasha or I, who would you save? If either of us were hurt, who would you go to first? Knowing that Natasha is trained to handle any situation you put her in, and I am not, who would you go to?"

Bucky voice gets caught in his throat. He is so thrown off by her questions he does not know what to say.

She closes her eyes to hide the tears, and turns away from him, "I do not want to make you pick, or try and tell you to stop being friends with Natasha because I am not the petty type and I really do like her. But I need to know where you stand in this relationship or if there even is one anymore. I think that maybe it would be best for you to leave now James. I need some time alone, and I think that you need to do some thinking for yourself."

"Ainslee…"

It does not escape his notice how she called him James. She never calls him James, not even when she is mad at him. He watches her walk to her room, shutting and locking the door behind her. He sighs, running his flesh hand down his face. It does not seem they will be getting this resolved today, so he may as well leave.

Bucky exits her apartment with a heavy mind and a heavy heart. There is no way that what she said had any truth behind it. Nothing was going on between Natasha and him, they were simply friends. That is all there is to it. Ainslee is simply making things up out of jealousy. He will give her a few days to cool off and then they will talk. Bucky convinces himself that Ainslee is just jealous and she will come to her senses in a few days. She will see that Bucky is not in the wrong. He just needs to give her a few days.


	2. Shatter Me Chapter 2

**Please let me know what you think! This is my favorite chapter, and I really hope you enjoy it too!**

 **Happy Reading!**

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The days pass by and there is zero contact between Ainslee and Bucky. Neither makes a single attempt nor show any sign in even wanting to see or talk to the other. Ainslee keeps to herself mostly, going about her day to day life like nothing has changed. The only time she lets on that the situation is getting to her is when she's caught staring at pictures of Bucky on her phone.

As for Bucky, well…

Wanda is the only person that Ainslee has any interaction with. She is there for Ainslee, being a shoulder to lean on when needed. Wanda is the only one who knows fully of when went down between Ainslee and Bucky. And unfortunately for Wanda, she does know everything, on both sides.

"Wanda, I know you are hiding something from me. You might as well just tell me. The longer you hold out, the more it will hurt in the end. Just rip the bandaid off in one go and it will hurt less."

Ainslee says, sitting across from Wanda as a cafe, giving the younger woman a pointed look. They were having lunch together, but it was rather quiet since the younger woman refuses to look at Ainslee and was barely speaking. A clear give away that she was trying to keep a secret from Ainslee.

Wanda shakes her head, saying nothing. She does not want to be the one to hurt Ainslee more.

"Wanda… It is about Bucky isn't it?"

She slowly nods her head. Ainslee sighs,

"Fine," she says, "just tell me. At this point, I do not think there is anything else Bucky can do to hurt me. I am pretty sure that our relationship is over, just need to hear the words."

Wanda still remains silent. She knows that Ainslee is trying to be strong about this, but is still in love with Bucky. What Wanda knows would shatter her completely.

"Alright, just answer me this, because I think I have the right to know. Is Bucky sleeping with Natasha?"

Finally, Wanda turns her gaze up, a remorseful look in her eyes. "I am sorry Ainslee. But I caught them together, they did not know I was there and I saw them…"

Ainslee takes a shaky breath. She expected the answer, but that does not mean she is ready for it. Tears fill her eyes, but she forces them back. All she can do is nod her head. No words will form, as she lets the fact that her boyfriend, no ex-boyfriend, really has been cheating on her this whole time.

Wanda reaches across the table to cover Ainslee's hand, "I am so sorry."

"It is not your fault Wanda. There is nothing that you can…"

Ainslee is cut off by a loud explosion that shakes the whole cafe,

"What the hell?!"

"Ainlee, stay here!" Wanda orders, taking off to find the source of the explosion. Soon another follows, and another. People began screaming, running around trying to get away. Ainslee cannot just sit by and watch people get hurt.

She runs outside and is floored by what she sees. The Avengers are out fighting an enemy that she is unable to explain. She scans around her, and quickly makes her choice, she is going to help no matter what.

"Ainslee, get back in the cafe! Now!" Bucky shouts at her once he sees her still in the streets as he continues fighting off another attack.

"No! I am not as useless as you think I am James. If I can help in any way possible then I will!"

Not allowing him to respond, Ainslee takes off running. She tries to help as many people into safety as possible. Though she might not be trained, she is calm and level headed, just what is needed in this situation. She works on getting people off of the street, away from the fighting.

She takes notice of Natasha near her, doing her best to fight off attacks, but was slowly becoming outnumbered. If Natasha can be overwhelmed, then Aislee stands no chance. She gets the last civilians that she can find into safety. Before she is able to take shelter herself, she is thrown back into the middle of the fighting by another explosion.

"Ainslee, you need to get out of here!" Steve's voice booming in a loud command.

"I am trying Captain, trust me!" She gasps for breath, the air knocked out of her.

Standing slowly, she stumbles out off to the side, her vision blurry from hitting her head. She is not exactly sure where she is or which way to go, but a voice catches her attention.

"Natasha!"

Bucky belts out, running right past Ainslee to get to Natasha and pulling her out of the way of an oncoming blast. Ainslee just stands there, feeling her heart break in two and time slows. Now she knows the truth, now she knows how Bucky really feels and who he truly loves.

Her eyes lock with Bucky's icy blue eyes, giving him a small smile. She opens her mouth to speak, but is unable. The blast that Bucky saved Natasha from hits Ainslee right in the chest and the last image she sees is Bucky's eyes staring at her in terror as her world goes dark.

"NO! Ainslee!"

Wanda's voice echos, times seems to stands still. Power surges from her knocking out all that opposed the Avengers. Moving faster than she ever had before, she rushes to Ainslee's side,

"It is alright, you will be alright. Please Ains, stay with me, you have to stay with me." Wanda begs, covering the wound on Ainslee's chest to try and stop the bleeding.

"Wanda, we have to get her to the hospital. The police can handle everything from her. Come in." Steve insist, moving Wanda so that the EMT's can get to Ainslee.

"Why?! Why would you let her get hurt!" Wanda screams at Bucky, her fingers sizzles with the urge to use her powers against him.

They stand in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting to hear some type of news about Ainslee.

"But Natasha…" Bucky mutters.

"Nat was fine Bucky! She had the situation handled! She is trained to handle that sort of situation, Ainslee is not! Ainslee is the one that needed your help, she is the one that is now in the hospital and might not make it! Nat has just a few scratches and bruises, she is fine, she was fine anyway. You let a civilian, you let Ainslee, your GIRLFRIEND, get hurt just to go help someone who did not need you." Wanda shouts at the super soldier. "So I hope you are happy, Natasha will live but Ainslee might not. And if she does, how are going to explain your actions and reasoning to her on how you let you nearly die?"

Wanda does not give him a chance to answer. She storms off to find a doctor to ask for an update on Ainslee. She leaves Bucky, Steve, and Sam in a stunned silence. Clint is the first one to recover, clearing his throat,

"I'll go check on Wanda."

Steve turns to his friend with a disappointed look on his face, "How long have you and Natasha been together?"

"Like I told Ainslee, Natasha and I are not…"

"Oh don't give me that bullshit Buck! We all see it! We see how close you two are, how much time you spend together, even when Ainslee is around all of your focus is on Natasha. Why string Ainslee along like that if you are in love with Nat?"

Bucky does not have an answer, there is nothing that he could possibly say. He glances over at Sam who has his arms crossed and glaring at him.

"Something you would like to add?"

Sam shrugs, giving a shake of his head, "Nothing I say is going to make a different or make you suddenly see the light. But I am wondering, how much of an asshole are you going to be when Ainslee wakes up? You going to break up with her right away to be with Nat, or is guilty conscious going to kick in and you help take care of her and only stay with her because you almost got her killed? My money's on you being a major dick and breaking up with her after you help her heal because you're still going to be fucking around with Nat during Ainslee's recovery. Hell this is all going off the assumption she even makes it."

"Sam!" Steve growls out a warning.

"What? You were thinking it too. I am just not afraid to say it out loud." he snaps back.

Bucky throws his hands in the air, "Why does this all fall back on me?! I did not see any of you rushing to help her!"

Sam gets right up in his face, "Because you were closer to her! You were right there! And yet you did nothing! You went to someone who would have been fine whether you stepped in or not and you know it!"

"Sam! Stop it!" Steve yells, pulling him away from Bucky.

Sam just walks off in the same direction as Clint and Wanda. Steve gives Bucky one last looks and follows behind Sam.

Bucky collapses into one of the chairs in the waiting room, covering his face with his hands. A hard breath escapes. He is at a complete loss, the events of the day running through his head. The image of Ainslee getting shot in the chest right before his eyes plays over and over again.

Wanda, Steve, Sam, they were all right. It was his fault she got hurt. He ran right to Natasha, standing there hold her to him, and they both just watched as Ainslee is taken down. He is never going to forget how she just stares at him, eyes locked on his as she takes the hit. The look in her eyes as she falls to the ground will haunt him forever.

Natasha walks out to the waiting room, a bandage on her head. She takes a seat next to Bucky and lightly places her hand on his back.

"Bucky…"

He looks up, a smile tugging at his lips. He reaches up with one hand, lightly touching her head.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine...I've had worse. You know that; you caused most of my worse."

He scoffs, "Yeah, well, still doesn't mean I want to see you hurt in any way."

Natasha does not say anything to that, instead changing the subject slightly, "How is Ainslee? Any word?"

Bucky shakes his head, "No, Wanda and the others went to see if they could find anything out. After they chewed me out."

"Why," she starts but pauses to rethink how to word her question, "why did you help me instead of Ainslee?"

"I-I don't know Nat. I did not really think, I just acted. I saw you in trouble and…" he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"I had the situation under control."

"I know Nat!" Bucky barks out causing her to jump slightly.

He takes a deep breath before speaking again, "I know that you had it under control. I know that you are able to handle your own, but in that moment, it did not matter. I saw you there and I saw you out numbered and I just reacted. God I swear my heart stopped at the possibility of you being hurt. I could not risk your safety."

"I would have done the same for you Bucky." Natasha confesses to him.

This gets him to smile but the smile quickly falls, "Yeah, but you coming to me probably would not have as severe consequences as this."

"You cannot help who you fall in love with."

Natasha says, taking Bucky's hand in hers. He gives her hand a small squeeze, leaning over and placing a kiss on her forehead. Natasha nuzzles into him before they sit back but not letting go of the others hands.

"Maybe not." Bucky replies, "But I could have handled the situation with Ainslee better. And now, I don't know if I will be able to make things right with her. No really how I would do that anyway." he says with regret in his voice.

Natasha remains silent. They just sit there holding hands in comfort. Some time later their team mates come back into the waiting room, glancing at the pair but say nothing. Wanda glares and moves to sit as far away from them as possible. Clint tries to comfort her as best as possible. Steve and Sam keep company with Wanda and Clint.

Some time later, a doctor comes into the waiting room.

"Family of Carter, Ainslee?"

Wanda rushes to the doctor, "Is she alright?"

Bucky, Natasha, Steve, Sam, and Clint gather around, anxious to learn of Ainslee's condition.

The doctor lets out a tired sigh, "Miss Carter's injury were extensive, we did every thing that we could and in the end she…"

A light breeze rustles in the trees. Bucky stands alone on the grassy hill, staring down. Eyes red with unshed tears, he feels a little sick to his stomach. He does not want to be here, but he feels he owes it to Ainslee; if she even wants him around any more after…

A strangled sob forces it's way pass his lips. He cannot do this, he has to leave, now.

"I am so sorry Ainslee! So, so sorry." Bucky rushes away, tears streaming down his cheeks.

There in the place Bucky once stood is a simple plaque reading

 _"_ _Ainslee Carter 1988-2016 a daughter, a friend, and a hero. May she rest in peace."_


	3. In My Dreams - Epilogue

**Dreams are meant to be a way for us to work through our problems. In dreams, we escape to our greatest wish, or is it forced into our worst nightmare?**

 **Please let me know what you thought! I love this series, and I hope you did too! Here is the epilogue to Shatter Me!**

 **Happy Reading!**

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Bucky comes awake to the feel of a soft hand stroking his stubbled cheek. He gives a low groan, squinting his eyes to the bright light of the sun. He has to blink a few times to focus his sight.

"Wake up sleepy head, time to get up."

A sweet, female voice calls out to him. Bucky jerks up eyes going wide and backs away,

"Ainslee? W-what? H-how?"

Ainslee giggles softly, "What is wrong with you Bucky? You act like you saw a ghost." the smile falls slightly, becoming sad, "Are you okay?"

She reaches out to cup his cheek. The feel of her touch knocks Bucky out of his trance, she is really here. Ainslee is really right in front of him. She is alive and here with him. Before Ainslee can even blink Bucky has grabbed her and wrapping her tightly in his arms. He buries his face into her neck, breathing in her scent. He pulls her down on to the bed with him, holding her body close to his, refusing to let go.

Ainslee is shocked by his actions, but she is not going to complain. She wraps her arms around Bucky's back, stroking his back and hums softly.

They remain locked in the others arms, not moving. Bucky never wants to let her go, he has his girl back. Pulling his head out of her neck and stare at Ainslee with an amazed look in his eyes,

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? You're being so weird."

"I, I love you Ainslee; and I'm so sorry. Sorry for everything."

Ainslee turns to better look at Bucky, concern written on her face, "Sorry? Sorry for what? Bucky what wrong?"

Why is she acting like this? Why is she acting like he did not allow her to be hurt to save Natasha? Why is she acting as though she has forgiven him so easily for all the pain that he has caused her. It hurts to think how he let her go, letting her fall because of his actions. His sight blurs with unshed tears.

"I hurt you."

She smiles, "Silly man, you would never hurt me. Do not cry Bucky. I am right here and as you can see, I am not hurt anywhere. Now if you mean that you have done something that will emotionally hurt me, then we need to talk mister."

She tried to keep a stern voice, only to end up giggling, leaving Bucky confused.

"Ainslee…"

"Bucky, I don't know what kind of dream you had, but it was not real. Everything between us is perfect. The last argument we had was because you refuse to put the toilet seat down and that causes problems when i go to the bathroom at night still half asleep."

"B-but…" Bucky stutters.

His mind going to the true last argument they had. Ainslee had fought with him about him spending too much time with Natasha. He swore that there had been nothing going on, even though that was not the whole truth. He wants to confess, but she is acting like it never happened.

Has something happened to her to affect her memory? If he says something, could that do more damage? Would it possibly be better to say nothing until a better time? And why ruin this moment right now? Why ruin what he has been wanting back since… since that day.

Bucky finally smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "You are right. M'sorry, I guess I just let a dream get to me.

Ainslee smiles up at him, her arms moving to wrap around his neck, playing with his hair that is tied at the base of his neck. Leaning up just enough, she presses her lips against his in a sweet and innocent kiss. It feels like forever since he last able to kiss her and he was not going to waste this opportunity.

He gently rolls her over onto her back, nipping at her bottom lip. What starts off as a sweet and innocent kiss becomes heated and full of need. Ainslee moans into the kiss, tugging at his hair and writhing against , he is not going to push her too far too soon, Bucky does not allow things to go past some heavy petting.

When they are out of breath and lips bruised and swollen, Ainslee curls into Bucky and they both fall back to sleep

Bucky wakes up a while later, holding onto her pillow. Running his hand over Ainslee's side of the bed Bucky finds her gone and the bed cold. He sits up and tries to listen for a hint of movement from somewhere in the apartment. But there is nothing.

"Ainslee… Ainslee!"

Bucky shots out of bed, running about the apartment searching for any sign of Ainslee. The house is bare of any presence of her. The light that was once there has now turned to dark without Ainslee.

"No… no… no!"

Bucky yells, slamming his fist into the wall out of hurt and frustration.

It was all a dream, a cruel dream that brought her back to him for a short while. But why? Why give her back to him only to rip her away once more? Why must he suffer through losing her over and over again.

Night after night, being plagued by dreams of Ainslee still being alive. Being lead to believe that there is a possibility for them to be happy again. A happiness that will never be.

Bucky weakly staggers back to his room, collapsing onto the bed. He pulls Ainslee's pillow tight to his chest, her scent long faded away. The tears he has been holding back fall feely now, soaking the pillow he holds.

Oh the pain to dream and remember all he wishes to forget. How he wishes he could fall asleep and never dream again. Then he will be able to finally escape the ghost of Ainslee, escape how he failed her because he was blinded by the difference between lust and love. He Ken now that he only lusted after Natasha and the idea of something familiar from their shared and similar past. But Ainslee, Ainslee he was and still is in love with her. She is and forever his girl; Bucky would give anything to try and make up all indiscretions he made towards her, just to hear her say "I love you" again.

Tears continue to fall until Bucky is physically and mentally exhausted. The exhaustion takes hold of him and he falls back into a restless sleep. Only to dream of Ainslee once again.

.

.

.

.

.

"Steve? When do you think he will wake up? I hate seeing him like this."

Bucky can hear a muffled female voice talking beside him. The soft voice is full of worry, sounding so sad, she sounds as though she has been crying. She sounds so familiar yet he cannot place where he might know her, or who she might even be. He tries to open his eyes, but his body is not listening to him. His eyes feel heavy, his head is fuzzy and his whole body hurts. Did Thor slip him some of that Asgardian alcohol and get him drunk? Because this is one hell of a hangover.

"I know, it's not we can even convince ourselves he is just sleeping when he gets so fitful and causes the nurses to worry." this he is clearly able to identify as Steve's voice, "The doctor said it could be awhile before he wakes up, considering the trauma he sustained in the fight. His body is mostly healed, but his mind, well…"

The woman sighs, Bucky can hear some type of movement, "I am going to go get us something to eat. Maybe stop by my place and take a shower and a change of clothes. Call me right away if he wakes up."

"Okay. Be safe."

Lips gently press against his forehead, "Please wake up Bucky. I need you to come back to me. Please."

Bucky struggles against his own body, willing himself to open his eyes. He needs to know the owner of the voice, he needs to know what happened and why he feels as if he as been hit by a mac truck. He groans, fingers twitching,

"Bucky?" Steve questions in surprise.

Bucky moves again, more than just his fingers twitching. Steve jumps from his chair and rushed out to call for the doctor. The doctor who has been treating Bucky rushes into the room and starts calling to Bucky. Asking him questions and checking his vitals. To Steve's surprise and relief, Bucky answers, slowly and slightly slurred, but he answers.

Eventually, the doctor leaves, happy with the results of his assessment of Bucky. He told Steve that he would be back in another hour for a follow up and the schedule some extra test to be safe.

"How long have I been out?" Bucky groans out, trying to sit up.

Steve goes over and helps Bucky sit the bed up and get a little more comfortable.

"A while, nearly two weeks."

"Wha happened?

"What do you remember?" Steve's question has Bucky's mind flash back to the fight.

It was all cloudy, blending together and he is not able to make sense of anything. He can remember seeing Natasha, and Ainslee is there as well. But how? How could she have been there? She should not be there! He remembers calling out to Natasha as a warning and running towards Natasha. But then things changes and get all confusing; images blur together, and it feels like wires have been crossed. Instead of Natasha he sees Ainslee, is calling out for her, not Natasha.

Is, is that what happened? Did he save Ainslee and not Natasha? Is Ainslee still alive? Did Natasha die? Did, did he still end up sacrificing one to save the other? B-but could Ainslee really be alive?

The heart rate monitor begins to spike and sounds an alarm for the nurses as to the increase in his heart rate.

Steve stands beside to try and talk Bucky down before the nurses rush back into the room, "Bucky, calm down. Everything is alright. The doctor said that things might be fuzzy for a little while and is to be expected. You need to calm down!"

"A-Ain-slee… s-she… N-Nat..."

Bucky struggles to speak through his panic and the pain now coursing through his body.

"What the hell is going on! I told you to all me if he wakes up!"

Steve turns to the door, but Bucky cannot see who he is talking to, "Sorry, there was not much time. He woke up and started freaking up."

Whoever came through the door rushes to the side of the bed and pushes Steve out of the way. She cups his face and forces him to look at her

"Bucky, look at me. Breath…"

Her fingers run through his hair in a soothing manner and almost instantly Bucky calms, "A-Ainslee…"

She gives him a gentle smile, "Yes, Bucky, I am right here."

With Bucky finally calm, the nurses leave to room so that just Steve and Ainslee are there with Bucky. Ainslee tries to move back, but Bucky grabs her hand and tugs her back to him, his eyes pleading for her to stay close. She nods, sitting beside him on the bed, holding his hand and running her thumb over his knuckles.

Bucky's blue eyes do not leave Ainslee, afraid that if he blinks then she will disappear on him.

"What'd you remember Buck?" Ainslee asks softly, not wanting to upset him again.

"I-I don't know…"

Between Steve and Ainslee they begin to explain, filling in the blanks where his memory cuts off and blends together. They explain how during the fight Bucky threw himself in front of Ainslee, pushing her out of the way from. But the blast that he took for Ainslee sent him and Ainslee flying into a wall. Bucky has used his body to protect her from any major damage. It was just thankful that after that they were able to put an end to the fight fairly quickly. Ainslee had stayed with him the whole time, trying to stop the bleeding from his head under control, they had to force her away so the EMT's could get to him.

Bucky is sure that there is something else that she is keeping from him, but will not say with Steve around.

Steve finishes off telling him about his injuries and how Ainslee as barely left his side.

Steve leaves Bucky and Ainslee to talk in private. He goes to inform the others that Bucky is awake and doing well. He even tells them that he will be back in the morning with some stuff for them.

A nurse comes into the room before Bucky and Ainslee could talk more to help Bucky shower and change into some clean clothes and Ainslee had brought for him. Once he is settled back on the bed, he pats the spot next to him for her to sit and is reaching for her hand once more.

"There is something that you left out with Steve here isn't it?" Bucky questions her as soon as the nurse is gone, not wasting anytime.

Ainslee bows her head, looking at their joined hands.

"Before you… before you passed out, you looked me in the eye and…"

He gives her a curious look, but says nothing. Ainslee takes a deep breath "and you said that you were sorry and would always love me."

"I do love you Ainslee." Bucky says softly.

She feels emotions bubble up in her. She has to look away from him, she just cannot believe him anymore when he says that he loves her. Not after their last conversation was of her accusing him of cheating on her with Natasha. Not after Wanda told her that she saw them together in an _intimate_ embrace.

Ainslee closes her eyes, letting out a deep sigh before speaking, "Bucky, Natasha explained thing to me. Explained that there were feelings between the two of you, but before things got too far you broke it off. But I just..."

"I swear it Lee, I did break things off with Natasha. I never meant to hurt you!"

"But what about…?"

"What?" Bucky pushes.

"Wands told me that she saw you and Natasha together. She said you slept together."

Bucky's eye widen, "No! We never, _never_ , slept together Ainslee. We did kiss, that might have been what Wanda saw, but it never went past that, because I realized just how big of a mistake I was making. I was lost in the memories of our past together and the feeling of familiarity. But I have no real excuse for what I did and nothing I can say will ever make right what I did."

Ainslee goes quiet for a moment, collecting her thoughts,

"Do you remember, our last night together, the fight before, well everything?" she asks him in a small voice.

"Yes…"

"You remember I asked you if you had to pick one of us to save which would it be? You saved me Bucky. In the heat of the moment, without thinking twice, your first instinct was to save me. I said it before and I will say it again, I do not want to make you have to choose between us, and I do really like Natasha. My issue has always been I felt second best to her, like I would never measure up to how amazing she is. The fact that you do have that history with Natasha, I questioned…everything."

Bucky feels his heart break. Now he finally understand to what extent he did hurt her and God does he hate himself for it.

Bucky pulls Ainslee down to lay with him on the bed, and instinctively she curls up in his side. He closes his eyes, taking in just how perfectly she fits with his body.

"I dreamed of you, while I was…" Bucky begins his confession

She turns her head up to look at him, "Really?"

His eyes fill with tears as he nods, "You died. It was you who got hurt and died because I saved Natasha and let you get shot. I dreamed that I had to bury and walk away to try and live without you in my life, but I couldn't do it. And then, I was forced to relive the same day over and over again. Dreaming that you had come back to me, that you still loved me, only to fall asleep and have you ripped away from me all over again."

Ainslee feels herself begin to tear up as well, "Oh Bucky…"

Shaking his head, "No," he starts, "it made me realize something. It made me realize just how wrong I truly was. I do not want Natasha, I do not want anyone else. Only you; you are my girl, my only girl. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would. I would do things right and anything that happened between Natasha and I, wouldn't happen."

His arms tighten around her, pulling her as close to him as possible, ignoring all pain in his body.

"Ainslee, will you please allow me the chance to try and make things right? I know I fucked up, but I can't lose you. I do not care where we start but I need for us to have an ending together. I will do anything you ask of me, I promise."

Cupping his cheeks, Ainslee lightly pecks his lips, "I make no promises, and I do not want for you to make any either. But I would like for us to try and work things out. I do not need promises, I need to see proof that things will change before. I do love you Bucky, I just need to know, not in words but in actions, that you still love me."

Bucky presses his lips to her forehead. There were no more words to say, and slowly Bucky falls back asleep with her presence surrounding him. Now he does not mind the dreams, because he knows when he wakes, Ainslee with still be there.

 _'_ _I wish I could fall asleep forever like this, I wake with her presence still… Although I hope I don't dream again, Like today, it seems I fall asleep with her presence… my love' - Super Junior K.R.Y "In My Dream"_


End file.
